Coma Black

‘I thought we were in love, you said you’d always be here for me… where are you now?’

My mouth was a crib and it was growing lies
I didn't know what love was on that day

Words written on a piece of cheap, blue lined paper. The ink was black, for banishing negativity, and once folded, was sealed with wax. I stared at the note, its shape illuminated by the soft candle light surrounding me.

As the wax began to dry, I removed the pentacle from around my neck and pressed it on the seal. Now, it was complete. I closed the circle and quietly left my house, wouldn’t want to wake the sleepers would I?

My heart's a tiny blood clot
I picked at it

The night was still, a bit chilly, but rather tame. A cloudy sky blocked my view of the stars, and the moon only shone in short glimpses when the fog brushed away from it. I walked, taking a different route than normal. I had to see his house; I had to see him… with her.

It never heals it never goes away…

I kept my stride at a pace, savor this night, and savor the fact that… you’re not good enough.

I burned all the good things in The Eden Eye


I am at the road, I can see his home. The lights are all on; music is playing loudly, a party. I was invited, but I excused myself at the term of a ‘blistering headache’. I could hear laughing, quick shrieks of amusement, and some shocked yells.

I held my head in my hand for a moment, was I really to do this?

We were too dumb to run too dead to die…

It wouldn’t be right, I told him to be happy, even if that meant leaving me for her… why couldn’t he be happy with me though? Why am I not good enough?

This was never my world
you took the angel away


The letter was dropped, and I ran. Through a field and to a children’s park. I heard giggling, and swallowed a gasp.

I'd kill myself to make everybody pay…

There he was, with her. Kissing her, holding her, talking to her.

My head swam, my senses temporarily at loss. My breathing became shallow, you can’t pass out here!

I turned the other way, running as hard as my legs would permit. Before I was out of ear shot, I could hear her say ‘Oh look, she’s here for a show, should we call her back?’ a laugh ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with her…’

I would have told him then
He was the only thing
That I could love in this dying world

The rest of that speech was left to my imagination. Still, I ran. Through town, I ran. Down a hill, I ran. I got to the wharf.

But the simple word "love" itself
already died and went away…

This place… just where I wanted to die.

This was never my world
you took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay…

At last I stopped, my heart still beating too fast. I settled myself, and started a slow walk down the wooden path. My last walk… and I’m so alone…

I burned all the good things in The Eden Eye
we were too dumb to run too dead to die

This was all, my fault. All of it…

The panic came back, be still my heart. Useless. I was at the end, leaning over the rail. I needed to breathe, I needed to think…

Her heart's bloodstained egg…

I made my way down to one of the lower docks, not getting enough air. My mind became incoherent, my eyes deceiving me.

We didn't handle with care…

I could see him… he can’t still love me. I took a razor out from my pocket, and stared at it. I didn’t deserve this… I had to die by my worst fear.

I tossed it into the black ocean; it was swallowed by the glassy depths.

It's broken and bleeding…

Black spots took over my vision, my legs gave out, and I fell in after it. You’d figure I would just let go, broken, and surrender myself to the soft waves. No, I fought with every ounce of my strength. I fought for him, and her. I hoped they were happy together, truly I did.

And we can never repair…

And then for everyone I’ve ever loved, hated, or held in close regard… I died.